My Story Part 111 – Happy Birthday!

Today would have been my mother’s 99^th birthday, well not really. We always celebrated it on the 15^th, the Ides of March. But it wasn’t until we were cleaning out their house to sell it after my father died that we found her birth certificate and we found out that she was really born on the 16^th. The photo is of my mother on her honeymoon, September 1936.

All through life we shared a secret. I do not know for certain, but I believe that she knew about my crossdressing. Many times my stash of clothes vanished without a word and I always wondered what she thought about me. I know that she loved me, but we never talked about it. It was our little secret elephant. I will always wonder what she would say now. Would she be proud of me for all that I have done? Or would she only see my trans-ness? How that questions haunts me, the not knowing.

On the night of her death, I wrote this with tears in my eyes as they are now remembering…

The Question

You never asked.

I always wondered.

But, I never asked.

It was our little secret.

The question unasked.

Little things that let me know that you knew.

But never asked.

The little hints here and there.

But the question remained unasked.

Hints just loud enough for my ears.

Oh, I always wondered about the question unasked.

Would our love survived.

If asked.

What would it have been like with the question asked?

What might have been if you asked?

What might have been if I asked?

But now is too late for you or me to ask.